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Garageland
art, culture and ideas

issue XV: Collaboration

online exclusive

           
 

 

The Double-Act Collector

 

Alex Pearl attempts to pin down a number of double-acts by transcribing a single interaction. Like arranging butterflies on a felted board, they remain beautifully constructed but now display a still sadness.

 

Ernie sings soulfully: I've got a woman crazy for me.
Eric catches an invisible ball in a paper bag.

 

 

Cannon: Can you never be serious?
Ball (interrupts): What's up?
Canon: Look you're laughing now.

 

Dud: My aunt Dolly would've done it for nothing.
Pete: She does anything for nothing, filthy old cow.
Dud muffles his laughter with a cheese sandwich.

 

 

Barker: Got any Ose?
Corbett: Ere you are one 'oe
Barker: No Ose
Corbett (getting irritated) Oh 'Ose! 'Ose, I thought you meant 'Oes!
Barker: No O's for the gate 'mon repose'

 

Saunders: What you trying to do my little sweetheart?
Woman in car: Just park, could you lift the barrier I'm late.
French (sotto voce): Make her work for it.

 

 

Mel: So when ideally would you like to go?
Gryff: When I'm about 95, just like that.
Mel: Nah I'm a donator
Gryff: How do you do that then?
Pause
Gryff: I mean how come?

 

Ollie: Shhh!
Stan: Shhh (blows out candle then relights it with a flame from his thumb)

 

Costello: I like worcestershiresheershauce.
Abbott: You like worstershiresheersheershauce?
Costello: You can't even shay it.

 

 

Bob (standing in a bear trap): help...     help...     help...     help...     help...
Vic: What's a matter?

 

Eddie Sneaks up on Syd hiding a big red book.
Syd: What have you got behind your back?
Eddie: A big fat bum! What have you?

 


   
 

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